It made me breathe so deeply...
It lifted my heart so slightly...
What God Meant
What do I think God meant when He gave me infertility?
I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.
I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.
I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.
I think God meant for us to find a cure for fertility.
No, God never meant for me to not have children.
That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.
I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it.
Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment.
I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.
Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.
And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."