I accept

My nerve conduction test hurt.
But not as bad as my head made me think it would. Surprise. Surprise. Results to follow in a couple weeks.

Moving on.

I read this, this morning written by a fabulous woman named Keiko Zoll. Her blog asks 'Do you accept your infertility'?

So do I?

Um. I'm not sure what I would be accepting.
Am I accepting that I am infertile? Am I accepting that I may never have a biological baby?

No.

I accept I am infertile...FOR NOW.

I accept that I have no control over my infertility or my endometriosis that may be causing infertility.

I accept that infertility has made me angry, bitter and resentful. More than I thought I could ever be.

I accept that infertility has made me hurt in a way I have never thought my heart could take (and I've had quite a few painful experiences).

I accept that infertility is lonely.

I accept that infertility is cruel.

I accept that infertility has brought My Love and I closer in the most precious way ever.

I accept that infertility has shown me love I never would've seen before or felt before or accepted before.

I accept that infertility is teaching me patience.

I accept that infertility is making me stronger.

I accept that infertility is teaching me not to quit.

I accept that amongst all the dark and scary...there is beauty and light.