I'm here, 24 hours post surgery.
Yesterday was such a blur. Getting up at 4:00 a.m. to be at the hospital for check in at 6:30 a.m. for scheduled surgery at 8:45 a.m.
As My Love and I made our way to what is called "The Urban Angel" hospital, tears just kept streaming down my face. I wasn't sobbing. Just crying. It was me releasing the best way my body and heart knew how to. We drove in silence hand in hand. I was scared. But once we got there an overwhelming sensation of calmness took over. Literally. After having my blood pressure and heartbeat taken, the doctor commented, "for someone who is about to go into surgery your resting heartbeat is really low, you must be calm."
Ok for those of you who actually know me, calm is not the first word that is often used to describe me.
My Love just figured it was me accepting whatever the end result was going to be. And of course, that this surgery was going to be done and over with soon enough.
And it was. And it was amazing news. It was news I didn't expect to hear. The doctor came to see us and as she had put it, she's never really seen anything like it. "Everything looks pristine. It's as if the endometriosis has stopped growing. Only a few spots on your ovaries, which I removed. The bladder and bowel still look the same as before, so no new growth. A sample was taken for biopsy, which is normal. This is great news. I'll see you in 6 weeks".
What? What did she say? I was still pretty groggy and tired from the anaesthetic. So I had it repeated to me over and over and over again. The whole ride home and then this morning too. Could it be that IVF is truly our next step?
Yes. It. Is.
First thing Monday morning, I will call to make our IVF protocol appointment.
And as I'm sitting here writing this, a flashback of a tattoo one of the nurses had on his wrist comes to mind.
And then a song I couldn't get out of my head yesterday.
And it's not just the painkillers talking.