I missed writing a "Merry Christmas" post...because of this....so a late Merry Christmas to all. I hope your holidays were magical.
As we enter into a new year, I feel excited. This will be the year.
This will be the year we will do IVF.
This will be the year we will know if we will be parents.
This will be the year we will start living again.
Fertility has been our focus for over 3 now. It's exhausting. It feels like life has been put on hold. No denying the strain infertility puts on a relationship. My Love and I have grown closer in ways that most couples never will and the opposite is also true in some ways. We both agree enough is enough.
Sounds harsh, maybe, but waiting and waiting and waiting for something that you are not even sure will happen is also pretty harsh. Down right cruel. However, we've accepted that this is just the way God has planned it for us. And along this way we have changed and grown. Without infertility, I wouldn't be the person I am today. And I'm on my way to actually liking me. The me that I am evolving into. Learning to let go of things that are taking up too much space in my heart and soul. Learning to live in the present moment. I'm learning to be aware. I'm learning to accept. Learning lots. All this learning is a slow process but it's good.
I know it's not going to be so black and white. Easy peasy. It never is. But I want my life back. I want my husband back. I want to enjoy being in love and love just being.
So, 2012...I welcome you with open arms and an open heart because this will be our year.