Sunday, April 15, 2012

Beta #3

I was surprised. Shocked actually. My third beta was 127. This is good. It's getting better. But I just can't seem to shake this disbelief. I don't know if it's all the shitty symptoms I have that don't really coincide with a healthy pregnancy. The bleeding still. The pain still. Or that 4 years of infertility has done some serious damage. I can't seem to get excited, at least not yet. Even the nurse said to me yesterday to keep taking it one day at a time.
I will return tomorrow morning for beta test #4. What I am really holding out for now is the ultrasound. The ultrasound to me is even scarier than the initial pregnancy test. It's really a viability test. Will there be a heartbeat? That's all I keep thinking. I was told that this will happen around 6 weeks BUT my hcg level needs to be in the 1000's first. So, again we wait. 
Anyway, we went to see The Hunger Games last night. I Loved it. Every minute of it. And as I watched the movie, I couldn't help but relate a couple quotes to infertility (I know, but that's what I do).
So, I will leave you with these:

"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear" & of course,
"May the odds be ever be in your favour"

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